10 Lawyer Jokes So Funny, They Should be Illegal

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we all know lawyers get a bad rap sometimes. They're often portrayed in pop culture as being unscrupulous, money-grubbing and (naturally) argumentative. But lest we forget, they're also a key component of our legal system, and you’ll certainly be glad they’re there if you find yourself in need of one. That being said, there’s certainly no shortage of lawyerly laughs to be had at attorneys’ expense — heck, at least something comes at their expense instead of yours.

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Here are the 10 best lawyer jokes we could find:

1. Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

2. What’s the difference between a rhino and a lawyer? The lawyer charges more.

3. Why did the lawyer cross the road? He was chasing an ambulance.

4. How do you know if a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.

5. How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say “fees.”

6. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

7. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The vulture eventually lets go.

8. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a pig? There are some things even a pig won't do.

9. What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a vicious animal? A lawyer.

10. What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite … the other is a leech.

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Oh, lighten up, lawyers! We’re only kidding. So, sue us if we just wanted to poke a little fun at the profession — no, wait, on second thought, don’t sue us!

But, seriously folks, lawyers play a crucial role in our society, representing individuals and businesses in court, defending our rights and ensuring justice is served — and do you really wanna hafta wade through a sea of legal jargon yourself. So don’t pass judgment on them based on the way they’re often portrayed in film and TV — and don’t hesitate to seek one out if you need one. You could even break the ice with one of these jokes, but maybe also thank them in advance for the hard job they do (think of it as a gratitude retainer).

This article was conceived, edited, vetted and cited by eLocal Editorial staff, and produced using artificial intelligence sources.